keeping it real

2020…

Image | | mary e. johnson-mason artist

2020… what do you have in store for me!

I have been thinking a lot about what I’m doing with this blog… I am not a blogger!!! But i am an artist… so lets do this art blog, and try to do it once a week, 52 blogs is much easier to wrap my head around than 366 days!

I am going to focus on textiles this year, see how far in the art world my new found love for embroidery is going to take me, it seems to be what I am good at

I am going to stop seeing what other people can do and get depressed when i know that i can’t do it, it’s just not my gift, not my style, not who i am

I am going to try to stop getting upset when i am looked over as an artist by those around me, because i am not the “traditional” artist that they understand

I am going to try and learn how this blogging thing works, and try to post at least once a week

So here’s to a new year, a year in discovering who i am, getting my work out there, stopping comparing myself to other artists (in a bad way), letting go and just BE ME

~mary e. johnson-mason

1,000 square feet

Image | | mary e. johnson-mason artist

This may sound weird… but i feel like i lost a loved one today, now you may be thinking that if I’m thinking that than i don’t really know how that feels but believe me i know better than most.

1,000 square feet, thats all i have to work with, all i have to live it, that may seem like a lot to some but you have to add in the 3 children, the husband, and the four legged animals that share in this 1,000 square foot space.

I took down my easel today, and now i feel like i am telling myself that I’m not a real artist, like i have to paint to be an artist, all the other things you do don’t count…

In truth i am probably better at textiles than i am at painting

In truth i seem to live in a place where my painting style is not cared for and that hurts,

In truth, when I’m in the room with another artist, a painter, and they are the ones that are called the artist, the one with a gift, and nothing is said to me… it makes you question yourself, question if you really are good enough, and than i have to remember that my paintings have been shown in galleries so i can’t be all that bad.

This chapter of my life is not the chapter that allowns me to paint, to experiment like i want to, so i feel like i have lost a loved one, a part of me is missing.

Many people will not understand, heck my husband doesn’t understand, he didn’t even notice the big empty space in the living room, but that does not mean that the feelings are not real,

I need to focus on embroidery, i need to experiment and paint with thread.

Mom life

Image | | mary e. johnson-mason artist

The day after this session I got the flu for a week, as soon as I’m over that I have a respiratory thing going on and have lost my voice, this morning I am finally able to start editing (who needs a voice to do that!) with a 2 year climbing all over me and my 4 & 8 year endlessly repeating “mommy” or “STOP IT” and me trying to say “stop touching!” or “get that out of your mouth!” Did I mention that my laptop of 10+ years decided to stop working this week so I had to get the “big boy” out of storage yesterday, and now since it’s a “new” thing I can’t keep the kids away! Here’s to early Saturday morning editing all while moming it with biscuits & gravy and fresh eggs for breakfast, putting wood in the stove so we don’t freeze, changing diapers, and trying not to yell, keep 3 kiddos unhurt, all while trying to get sick or at least sicker than I already am. I forgot, I’m going on 4 hours of sleep and tonight is the time change… also why do they get up so early and so well on Saturday and not school days 🤷🏼‍♀️ I almost forgot I need to go let the chickens and ducks out and feed the goats #momlife #neverending #thisulgybeautifullifeilive💕 #joysoflovinginasmallhouse #familyphotographer #isitbedtimeyet #countrylife #woodstovelife #girlandboymama💜💜💙