This may sound weird… but i feel like i lost a loved one today, now you may be thinking that if I’m thinking that than i don’t really know how that feels but believe me i know better than most.
1,000 square feet, thats all i have to work with, all i have to live it, that may seem like a lot to some but you have to add in the 3 children, the husband, and the four legged animals that share in this 1,000 square foot space.
I took down my easel today, and now i feel like i am telling myself that I’m not a real artist, like i have to paint to be an artist, all the other things you do don’t count…
In truth i am probably better at textiles than i am at painting
In truth i seem to live in a place where my painting style is not cared for and that hurts,
In truth, when I’m in the room with another artist, a painter, and they are the ones that are called the artist, the one with a gift, and nothing is said to me… it makes you question yourself, question if you really are good enough, and than i have to remember that my paintings have been shown in galleries so i can’t be all that bad.
This chapter of my life is not the chapter that allowns me to paint, to experiment like i want to, so i feel like i have lost a loved one, a part of me is missing.
Many people will not understand, heck my husband doesn’t understand, he didn’t even notice the big empty space in the living room, but that does not mean that the feelings are not real,
I need to focus on embroidery, i need to experiment and paint with thread.